. . . somethin' in your voice caused me to turn my head
You had me from "Hello"
You had me from "Hello"
Girl I've loved you from "Hello"
"Mom, the car behind us is honking, the light is green."
"I'm sorry, I don't know where my head is today."
Erin giggles, "You always get weird when this song comes on."
"Do I? I hadn't noticed."
I do notice . . .how could I not when every note, every word taking me back to the first smile from a stranger, a funny comment and a long conversation about salsa and racing while another man stood helplessly by, knowing there would be no second date. The chill outside is forgotten as I once again feel the heat as we sat at the park that summer, learning each other, while the screams of children and the squeaking of swings faded into the background.
We stop at a red light and Erin sees the large hotel up the road and, as she always does, asks if the restaurant on top really rotates and if I was scared to be up there, since I hate heights so much. I tell her, as I always do, that it does and it did; that I almost passed out, so far up, as I looked down. She asks if I got dizzy. I smile and tell her that it doesn't rotate fast enough to make someone dizzy.
My dizziness came from arms wrapping around me, giving me the strength I lacked and the feeling of our hearts beating against each other and that only then was I able to stop and breathe, the first time all day. I don't remember much except hands in my hair, pulling me in, fingers gently touching my cheek, the feel of his heart beating against mine; beating for mine as I felt my world slipping from under me with my mom's cancer diagnosis.
Erin asks me where I go when I disappear. I smile and she giggles. Her life is lived in split seconds, she doesn't care if I answer and I stay silent as memories of Honey Bear,143, kissing frogs, long days doing nothing, scribbles on paper hidden for me to find, $30,000 trucks, blushes and apologies flow through my mind . . .
I'm dancing with friends, three tequila shots into forgetting. A song comes on and I stop, the words breaking through the tequila and sobering me. I stand still as couples circle around me, arms holding onto each other as I feel my own emptiness. My phone is in my hands, a quick text, "I miss you". The song continues and my phone stays silent. My friends see the look on my face and plead with the DJ to change the song.
Inside, I built a wall
So high around my heart, I thought I'd never fall
One touch, you brought it down
The bricks of my defenses scattered on the ground
And I swore to me I wasn't gonna love again
The last time was the last time I let someone in . . .
I lean against cold stones, the sharp edges bruising my back, the cold air sharp against my skin through the thin dress. It's a small annoyance compared to the pain slamming into me with each note. I place my hands over my ears to tune out the song and sink to the ground . . .
Leaves staring to turn, Indian summer, a warm breeze. He brings out old CD's and I laugh at some of the songs he's playing. A country twang fills the air . . . .
One word, that's all you said
Somethin' in your voice caused me to turn my head.
Your smile, just captured me
And you were in my future as far as I could see
And I don't know how it happened, but it happened still
You asked me if I love you, if I always will . . . .
"That reminds me of us."
I smile as I remember the first time I had seen you. My computer had crashed, I was going out with friends to have a break, you're leaning against the counter. The cashier tells me he can fix computers, retrieve information.
"Well, if you do that, I'll have no excuse to drink." I turn my head when I hear you laugh.
"What? I always do everything out in the open."
You tell me that you never know what people do behind close doors.
That smile is back and I mention that I haven't had a date in a long time. I'm surprised by my boldness.
"He wants you to have his number," the cashier tells me the next time he sees me. "He can have my number."
Well you had me from "Hello"
I felt love start to grow
The moment that I looked into your eyes, you won me
It was over from the start
You completely stole my heart
And now you won't let go
I never even had a chance you know
You had me from "Hello"
"This song reminds me of you, of us" The words are etched into my heart. The song ends, my friends find me and offer me another shot. I turn it down, knowing I couldn't forget at this point, wondered if I ever would.
We make it home and thunder is rolling in the distance. "I think it's going to rain, you go on in the house, I'll be in in a second." I turn the radio on and hit play, close my eyes and let a soft country twang pull me back, one more time. I feel the tears start to fall until I feel a tug on my skirt. "Mom, really, where do you go all the time?" I turn the radio off and smile at her. "Nowhere, Erin, nowhere important, I just like this song."
Erin shrugs and laughs, "Music makes me dance." As the first drops of rain start to fall, I hold out my hand and ask her to dance. As she holds on, I don't even wipe away the tears that the rain hides as I let go of the memories and hold onto the reality in front of me.
As we dance, the sound of the rain and thunder drowns out the song I had been lost in only moments earlier . . . .
You had me . . .
You had me from "Hello"
You had me from "Hello"
Girl I've loved you from "Hello"
"Mom, the car behind us is honking, the light is green."
"I'm sorry, I don't know where my head is today."
Erin giggles, "You always get weird when this song comes on."
"Do I? I hadn't noticed."
I do notice . . .how could I not when every note, every word taking me back to the first smile from a stranger, a funny comment and a long conversation about salsa and racing while another man stood helplessly by, knowing there would be no second date. The chill outside is forgotten as I once again feel the heat as we sat at the park that summer, learning each other, while the screams of children and the squeaking of swings faded into the background.
We stop at a red light and Erin sees the large hotel up the road and, as she always does, asks if the restaurant on top really rotates and if I was scared to be up there, since I hate heights so much. I tell her, as I always do, that it does and it did; that I almost passed out, so far up, as I looked down. She asks if I got dizzy. I smile and tell her that it doesn't rotate fast enough to make someone dizzy.
My dizziness came from arms wrapping around me, giving me the strength I lacked and the feeling of our hearts beating against each other and that only then was I able to stop and breathe, the first time all day. I don't remember much except hands in my hair, pulling me in, fingers gently touching my cheek, the feel of his heart beating against mine; beating for mine as I felt my world slipping from under me with my mom's cancer diagnosis.
Erin asks me where I go when I disappear. I smile and she giggles. Her life is lived in split seconds, she doesn't care if I answer and I stay silent as memories of Honey Bear,143, kissing frogs, long days doing nothing, scribbles on paper hidden for me to find, $30,000 trucks, blushes and apologies flow through my mind . . .
I'm dancing with friends, three tequila shots into forgetting. A song comes on and I stop, the words breaking through the tequila and sobering me. I stand still as couples circle around me, arms holding onto each other as I feel my own emptiness. My phone is in my hands, a quick text, "I miss you". The song continues and my phone stays silent. My friends see the look on my face and plead with the DJ to change the song.
Inside, I built a wall
So high around my heart, I thought I'd never fall
One touch, you brought it down
The bricks of my defenses scattered on the ground
And I swore to me I wasn't gonna love again
The last time was the last time I let someone in . . .
I lean against cold stones, the sharp edges bruising my back, the cold air sharp against my skin through the thin dress. It's a small annoyance compared to the pain slamming into me with each note. I place my hands over my ears to tune out the song and sink to the ground . . .
Leaves staring to turn, Indian summer, a warm breeze. He brings out old CD's and I laugh at some of the songs he's playing. A country twang fills the air . . . .
One word, that's all you said
Somethin' in your voice caused me to turn my head.
Your smile, just captured me
And you were in my future as far as I could see
And I don't know how it happened, but it happened still
You asked me if I love you, if I always will . . . .
"That reminds me of us."
I smile as I remember the first time I had seen you. My computer had crashed, I was going out with friends to have a break, you're leaning against the counter. The cashier tells me he can fix computers, retrieve information.
"Well, if you do that, I'll have no excuse to drink." I turn my head when I hear you laugh.
"What? I always do everything out in the open."
You tell me that you never know what people do behind close doors.
That smile is back and I mention that I haven't had a date in a long time. I'm surprised by my boldness.
"He wants you to have his number," the cashier tells me the next time he sees me. "He can have my number."
Well you had me from "Hello"
I felt love start to grow
The moment that I looked into your eyes, you won me
It was over from the start
You completely stole my heart
And now you won't let go
I never even had a chance you know
You had me from "Hello"
"This song reminds me of you, of us" The words are etched into my heart. The song ends, my friends find me and offer me another shot. I turn it down, knowing I couldn't forget at this point, wondered if I ever would.
We make it home and thunder is rolling in the distance. "I think it's going to rain, you go on in the house, I'll be in in a second." I turn the radio on and hit play, close my eyes and let a soft country twang pull me back, one more time. I feel the tears start to fall until I feel a tug on my skirt. "Mom, really, where do you go all the time?" I turn the radio off and smile at her. "Nowhere, Erin, nowhere important, I just like this song."
Erin shrugs and laughs, "Music makes me dance." As the first drops of rain start to fall, I hold out my hand and ask her to dance. As she holds on, I don't even wipe away the tears that the rain hides as I let go of the memories and hold onto the reality in front of me.
As we dance, the sound of the rain and thunder drowns out the song I had been lost in only moments earlier . . . .
You had me . . .
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