1. I don't know near as much in my 30's as I thought I did in my 20's.
2. How hard it's going to be to let go of someone you loved is directly related to how much of yourself you gave in that relationship because when you let go, you have to let go of parts of yourself that you gave away.
3. Which leads me to, don't go into a relationship to find yourself or feel better about yourself. Stay single, learn who you are, build a great life, then see what happens.
4. I'm sorry is only meaningful if you change the wrong behavior that caused the reason for an apology.
5. No one can fix what's wrong in your life -- you have to do it for yourself.
6. No one completes someone -- refer to #3 if you believe this.
7. All problems in a relationship can be traced back to one thing -- selfishness.
8. There isn't alway time to say what you want to -- so say it quickly.
9. Ultimatiums don't always lead to something good -- be prepared to handle a bad outcome if it comes to that.
10. If a person is still asking for advice for the same problem over and over -- stop giving them advice and instead, hand them a self-help book.
11. No one knows you better than you know yourself --- trust yourself more.
12. Nagging NEVER, EVER, EVER works. EVER.
13. If a man asks for space, give it to him.
14. If a man says he doesn't want to date you, marry you, stay married to you, they mean it. Move on.
15. Don't hold onto things or people that aren't holding onto you.
16. If you miss your friends, don't wait for them to call. It's a two-way street. Call them.
17. Words can destroy a person.
18. For every criticism you give a child, it takes 10 praises. Even more if the criticism is harsh. Children are still figuring out who they are and they first learn this from who we tell them they are.
19. It's okay to cry....hard.
20. It's okay to let others see you cry.
21. Sometimes, when someone asks how you are, all they want to hear is fine.
22. If someone offers help, take it.
23. If someone compliments you, say thank you, not "Oh, no, I'm not" or criticize yourself.
24. If a man does something nice for you and a woman complains, he probably won't ever do it again.
25. A person's life can be changed just by having someone believe in them.
26. NOt everything is meant to be forever, just for a time.
27. Just because someone is smiling, doesn't mean they are happy.
28. True happiness isn't found in moments or other people. It's something inside of you.
29. Sexual chemistry isn't love.
30. Sometimes all a child needs to feel loved is to have you stop what you're doing to listen to them talk.
31. You can't be a single mom, work full time, have a life and a spotless house and sleep. A little clutter is okay (still working on this).
32. Going to church doesn't make me a Christian just like staying home on Sunday doesn't make me an atheist.
33. Don't pretend to like something to impress someone. They'll find out eventually when they want to talk about common interests and realize you know nothing about it.
34. A man who cares about what you have to say will look you in the eyes . . . not the newspaper, tv, computer or another woman.
35. Don't try to change someone. It's impossible. Instead, decide if you can live with them the way they are and if not, move on.
36. Kids love it when we stop being such adults and act silly with them.
37. Kids grow up too fast.
38. This is such a cliche, but so true. We are not guaranteed forever.
39. People that put you down aren't worth your time.
40. It's okay to be lazy sometimes.
41. Failing isn't a sign of being a failure.
42. I can't love someone who isn't also my friend.
43. Its okay to fall apart when your world falls apart. Just don't stay that way.
44. Never stop doing small things for each other, no matter how long you are together.
45. Getting flowers or cards never gets old.
Ü
Showing posts with label choices. Show all posts
Showing posts with label choices. Show all posts
Some things . . .
1. I get hurt very easily and usually doing the simplest things. This embarrasses me
2. I'm always saying the wrong thing, at the wrong time. This embarrasses me
3. Still surprised when people tell me how pretty I am. I still feel like the girl in H.S. who never got asked to prom
4. I want to travel for a year, non-stop, and write down everything I see and experience
5. I still believe in Love and this surprises me
6. I LOVE to kiss and that's one of the biggest things that I miss while single
7. I look at my daughters and still wonder how someone like me managed to be a part of something so phenomenal
8. I say phenomenal a lot
9. I'm very sensitive
10. I'm a loner
11. I love reading about other religions and views on spirituality
12. I don't always feels as smart as people think I am
13. There used to be words I could not say, but now I can easily. I still don't know why I was so uptight for so long
14. I LOVE my sense of humor
15. Good, no, great!!!!! conversation is the best way to grab and hold onto my attention
16. The only place I ever feel completely comfortable and like myself is in a classroom
17. I once knit a lace thong to prove that knitting wasn't uncool
18. I almost always root for the underdog.
19. To me, talking is the best form of intimacy
20. I prefer hanging out with men
21. I HATE losing control
22. I've only been in love once
23. I miss my old job at Circle of Hope and wonder how the kids I worked with are doing
24. I have an incredibly short attention span
25. Nothing maes me feel prettier than a dress and stilletos
26. My eyes make me too easy to read
27. a big pet peeve of mine is being let down
28. I have incredibly strong intuition and wish I trusted it more
29. I'm independent to the point of it causing problems
30. Music is such an emotional experience for me that sometimes, it causes a physical reaction
31. I can blush easily
32. I rarely cry, even if in a lot of pain.
33. I am envious of people that seem so laid back and confident in social situations
34. I wonder what happened that I no longer keep a journal
35. I laugh inside when people think I'm an airhead, prissy or weak. I have been through more than people would ever now and I am strong as hell
36. My top favorite moments in the world:
A. The birth of each of my daughters
B. Christmas shopping with my mom in KC until after 2 a.m.
C. Sitting at the hospital w/ my mom for hrs, just the two of us and not saying a word but seeing her wake up and smile at me w/ so much love
D. A lazy day doing nothing w/ my ex. I knit my 1st pair of socks while he watched UFC.
E. Taco Bell, after hours, getting an old guy to order my food. It was so spontaneous and unlike me, I knew it would be okay
F. Perkins until 7 am talking to a new friend for 8 hours.
37. I'm too uptight sometimes.
38. I feel as if my life is stalled and I'm doing all I can to move it forward
39. Conway Twitty gives me goosebumps
40. So does Etta James
41. I am a HUGE flirt
42. I hate going to the movies
43. And Mini golf
44. I've skinny dipped . . . . twice
45. I want to just take off for a weekend road trip
46. I'm the oddball of my family
47. I do not know if I'll ever marry again . . . . but I want to be. Just not right now.
48. I know exactly what I want in life
49. I HATE being told No or I can't
50. I was married for 10 years and he never saw me pee :)
Letters to my daughters.
I wrote this about 8 years ago . . . .it's amazing seeing how much of this has come to pass in their life . . . .
Dear Sweet, Strong, Amazing Princesses,
You are growing taller and stronger everyday. The quickness of it takes my breath away. It seems a cliche to say it seems like only yesterday....but it does seem that way. Only yesterday, I was the mother of one, then three, then four. Sweet baby girls clothed in pink who fit in the crook of my arm. Quickly, you grew and were running away from me. Even at that moment, I realized the significance of your steps; steps that were necessary. We may bond as you grow older, but you will always be walking away. My job is to not only teach you how to do so, but how to do it with pride and dignity.
Sometimes we fight, but one day, you'll realize the convinctions I have....the convictions I have for you. I tell you no because I understand now, only from my own lacking, how important a mother's guidance is. And I've been where you are...and where you are going.
Even now, I raise you with your future in mind. My prayers for you are that you will be strong enough to stand up for what you believe in, but flexible enough to learn and try new things. Most of all, I wish for you to know who you are. To take the time to be your own best friend first so that you don't have to seek outside of yourself for fulfillment. Even now, I see your gifts and talents; I hope you can see them too. It takes my breath away to realize such amazing creatures are children...my daughters.
I have an extra responsibilty as your mother. Right now, I am your role model. I hope I do it with grace and strength. But please, accept my apologies now, for I will stumble. I will do and say the wrong things. But I will always love you....will never stop loving you.
I have fears; I cry; I shout; I laugh. Please do not be shocked by that. I only want for you to realize that it's okay to feel. That weakness isn't found in showing emotions, but hiding them. Strength is shown when you do not hide; when you let people know who you are.
Brianna, especially for you now, I write this. You are entering a new phase of life. You are getting older, maturing. The little girl I carried in my womb, cared for and sent off to kindergarten is becoming a young woman. You struggle with who you are. Please don't. Can you not see what I see? A girl who is wise beyond her years. I am proud of you. I am proud of your "embrace life fully" personality. I am proud of your heart and intelligence. You are both analytical and impulsive. You are a gift to this world. I'm sorry I do not tell you enough.
Kristin, my quiet one, my wish for you is courage. i don't understand how it feels to be so scared so I can only offer support and guidance....and love. You are talented in so many ways and your quietness is a gift. As you told me when you were five, "i spend more time listening than talking, Mom" Do not ever lose that. You are patient and I trust you will get where you need to when the time comes.
Katie, you are always on the go; take time to slow down and see the world. You cannot leave the room without a kiss and a hug. While you are also sometimes scared, I see your courage starting to emerge. Tears come to my eyes as I see you starting to step into a world you have been so scared of for so long. Do not be afraid because I can see the strength you possess that shows me you can do this. Hold your head high and keep walking, I'll be behind you if you need to hold my hand.
Erin, you amaze me. You see the world in a way I never could. You do not hurry through life, instead, you live your life in moments. At 4, your depth of love for all things natural amazes me. Your imagination is an asset that I hope you continue to embrace it and never stop seeing things that others miss. You joy is contagious and it is such a gift to be a part of that.
My daughters, i will never pretend life is easy; it is hard. But through hard work comes achievement and through achievement comes confidence. Never believe that because you are a girl, you cannot achieve certain things. Listen to what I am trying to say to you when I tell you to pick yourselves up and keep going. Life is never lived if you are scared to get up after you fall.
These are the lessons I want you to learn:
As you grow, your heart will be broken; maybe many times. Learn from each heartbreak.
Do not follow the crowd. As a female, you were given the gift of intuition....use it. Be proud of who you are and what you stand for. Even if at times, you stand alone, I promise, in time, pride will come with those decisions.
It's okay to say NO. No to friends who ask you to compromise who you are; no to the boys who may try too hard; no to those that tell you that you can't achieve; NO to doubts that try to hold you back.
Just as it is okay to say NO, it is also okay to change your mind. I understand that there will be times when you make a choice without fully realizing its impact. Do not feel weak because you have decided that you cannot follow through on a decison you have made or you feel that others will disagree. You cannot make your choices based on what others think of you, but what you will think of yourself onces it has been made.
Be proud of your beauty but cultivate your inner beauty just as much, if not more than your outer beauty.
Make your choices with wisdom and conviction. Again, this falls under, do not follow the crowd. Just because a lot of people are saying it's right doesn't make it so. Sometimes the correct path is found when you take the time to explore on your own.
Before you ever give yourself to a man, please be secure enough in who you are so you don't lose yourself. One day, I hope you understand that men are meant not to complete you but complement who you are.
NEVER accept put-downs or abuse. Boys don't hit girls they like. I repeat, boys DON'T hit girls they like. They also do not pressure, put-down or run away. A real man walks beside you.
God gave me four daughters. One day, you will leave and begin your own life. Do it with your head held high and a soul full of confidence. And when you leave my arms, know that I raised you with love and look forward to the day that you are not only my daughters but my friends.
143....Mom
Dear Sweet, Strong, Amazing Princesses,
You are growing taller and stronger everyday. The quickness of it takes my breath away. It seems a cliche to say it seems like only yesterday....but it does seem that way. Only yesterday, I was the mother of one, then three, then four. Sweet baby girls clothed in pink who fit in the crook of my arm. Quickly, you grew and were running away from me. Even at that moment, I realized the significance of your steps; steps that were necessary. We may bond as you grow older, but you will always be walking away. My job is to not only teach you how to do so, but how to do it with pride and dignity.
Sometimes we fight, but one day, you'll realize the convinctions I have....the convictions I have for you. I tell you no because I understand now, only from my own lacking, how important a mother's guidance is. And I've been where you are...and where you are going.
Even now, I raise you with your future in mind. My prayers for you are that you will be strong enough to stand up for what you believe in, but flexible enough to learn and try new things. Most of all, I wish for you to know who you are. To take the time to be your own best friend first so that you don't have to seek outside of yourself for fulfillment. Even now, I see your gifts and talents; I hope you can see them too. It takes my breath away to realize such amazing creatures are children...my daughters.
I have an extra responsibilty as your mother. Right now, I am your role model. I hope I do it with grace and strength. But please, accept my apologies now, for I will stumble. I will do and say the wrong things. But I will always love you....will never stop loving you.
I have fears; I cry; I shout; I laugh. Please do not be shocked by that. I only want for you to realize that it's okay to feel. That weakness isn't found in showing emotions, but hiding them. Strength is shown when you do not hide; when you let people know who you are.
Brianna, especially for you now, I write this. You are entering a new phase of life. You are getting older, maturing. The little girl I carried in my womb, cared for and sent off to kindergarten is becoming a young woman. You struggle with who you are. Please don't. Can you not see what I see? A girl who is wise beyond her years. I am proud of you. I am proud of your "embrace life fully" personality. I am proud of your heart and intelligence. You are both analytical and impulsive. You are a gift to this world. I'm sorry I do not tell you enough.
Kristin, my quiet one, my wish for you is courage. i don't understand how it feels to be so scared so I can only offer support and guidance....and love. You are talented in so many ways and your quietness is a gift. As you told me when you were five, "i spend more time listening than talking, Mom" Do not ever lose that. You are patient and I trust you will get where you need to when the time comes.
Katie, you are always on the go; take time to slow down and see the world. You cannot leave the room without a kiss and a hug. While you are also sometimes scared, I see your courage starting to emerge. Tears come to my eyes as I see you starting to step into a world you have been so scared of for so long. Do not be afraid because I can see the strength you possess that shows me you can do this. Hold your head high and keep walking, I'll be behind you if you need to hold my hand.
Erin, you amaze me. You see the world in a way I never could. You do not hurry through life, instead, you live your life in moments. At 4, your depth of love for all things natural amazes me. Your imagination is an asset that I hope you continue to embrace it and never stop seeing things that others miss. You joy is contagious and it is such a gift to be a part of that.
My daughters, i will never pretend life is easy; it is hard. But through hard work comes achievement and through achievement comes confidence. Never believe that because you are a girl, you cannot achieve certain things. Listen to what I am trying to say to you when I tell you to pick yourselves up and keep going. Life is never lived if you are scared to get up after you fall.
These are the lessons I want you to learn:
As you grow, your heart will be broken; maybe many times. Learn from each heartbreak.
Do not follow the crowd. As a female, you were given the gift of intuition....use it. Be proud of who you are and what you stand for. Even if at times, you stand alone, I promise, in time, pride will come with those decisions.
It's okay to say NO. No to friends who ask you to compromise who you are; no to the boys who may try too hard; no to those that tell you that you can't achieve; NO to doubts that try to hold you back.
Just as it is okay to say NO, it is also okay to change your mind. I understand that there will be times when you make a choice without fully realizing its impact. Do not feel weak because you have decided that you cannot follow through on a decison you have made or you feel that others will disagree. You cannot make your choices based on what others think of you, but what you will think of yourself onces it has been made.
Be proud of your beauty but cultivate your inner beauty just as much, if not more than your outer beauty.
Make your choices with wisdom and conviction. Again, this falls under, do not follow the crowd. Just because a lot of people are saying it's right doesn't make it so. Sometimes the correct path is found when you take the time to explore on your own.
Before you ever give yourself to a man, please be secure enough in who you are so you don't lose yourself. One day, I hope you understand that men are meant not to complete you but complement who you are.
NEVER accept put-downs or abuse. Boys don't hit girls they like. I repeat, boys DON'T hit girls they like. They also do not pressure, put-down or run away. A real man walks beside you.
God gave me four daughters. One day, you will leave and begin your own life. Do it with your head held high and a soul full of confidence. And when you leave my arms, know that I raised you with love and look forward to the day that you are not only my daughters but my friends.
143....Mom
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